my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

(via tessavsworld)


jardinsalvaje:

sheepskeleton:

Lestat being fabulous ;)

Mixing fandoms because why not… 
I was just about to re-post this untill I saw the source in the DA account, phew D:

jardinsalvaje:

sheepskeleton:

Lestat being fabulous ;)

Mixing fandoms because why not… 

I was just about to re-post this untill I saw the source in the DA account, phew D:



real-life-has-n0-appeal:

amour-triomphe:

Happy Anniversary 😏

Mm, those were good ones I did.

real-life-has-n0-appeal:

amour-triomphe:

Happy Anniversary 😏

Mm, those were good ones I did.



suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

(via hyde-2612)


Had a loong phone call with my mom wherein she gave me the unfortunate news that she and her “boy friend” have broken up. This is no ordinary break up, folks.

There  is a long, harrowing track record with these two. It would be too tedious to write up the whole awful history so Ill just give you the shorthanded timeline:

  • They were high school sweethearts who  were engaged to be married but broke up for petty reasons
  • After the break up, the guy (let’s call him “Dave”) marries the mother of a student in my mom’s class when she was a senior in high school.
  • Right after college, my mom marries into a highly abusive relationship (and I am born yaaaaay!) and divorces with with great velocity.
  • She wastes no time and get’s married by the time I am a year and half years old to another abusive man, let’s call him “Dick” (because he is one) with whom she has three more children and spends the next eighteen years in misery.
  • When I’m a sophomore in high school she has an affair with my fencing coach.
  • While I’m off at school in La la Land, she receives an email from Dave. It’s the first in what is to be a long, heated, and passionate correspondence that breaks into a virtual affair. sidenote: Dave is still married, and his wife is dying from Kidney disease. She has no idea anything is going on.
  • A year and half later, my mom divorces Dick for Dave
  • At present: Dick chooses to go to marriage counseling to work it out with his wife and never wants to hear from my mom again
  • Mom is devastated
  • Mom calls me in tears, telling me how alone she is and how no one loves her, and she’ll never find love again, and she has no friends, and she made a mistake, and she hates Dave and she hates Dick and on and on and on

Since I was in tenth grade I have been my mom’s emotional outlet, that is when she wanted to divorce Dick the first time. She told me everything.       E v e r y t h i n g. All the things Dick did to her, the crazy, psychotic, creepy, possessive things. And she hasn’t let up since. She told me all the grisly details of her affair with my coach. And I’ve spent the last year listening to her tell me about her relationship with Dave and counseled her through her divorce with Dick.

It’s important to note that her entire relationship with Dave took place over the phone or in emails. They did spend a weekend in Charlotte a few months back, but that was it. She told me all  about their plans for marriage, for children, and I had never even seen his face!

And today everything came to a head. Dave finally told his wife (dying wife, remember) about the affair, and naturally she lost her shit.  Dave felt guilty and decided to stick it out with Peg and leave my mom.

I am pissed off. I am irate. I am so, so sad. All her emotions I just feel so keenly and to hear her say that she feels alone and that no one loves her I just want to scream at her.

Meanwhile all her sadness just makes me feel hopeless.Like I’ve failed in some vital way, even though I know logically that this has nothing to do with me. This is /her/ issue not mine.

But it just brings to mind all my past failures and insecurities. My parents paid for my schooling in L.A. and I came back deciding  did not want to do SFX. I feel guilty for going back to  school because I feel like I had my chance and I blew it.  It feels indulgent to go back to school. My social anxiety fluctuates like crazy and I’m afraid that everyone at work hates me or thinks I’m stupid even though I know it’s not true because I have a great time with them and we have great conversations.

, I just feel very heavy right now. Urghh.